How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you never un-have a 4some
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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