My hand turned me down
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize