Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This is the high leading the old right now
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
