i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
