So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
