my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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