I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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