Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
