what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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