if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
