How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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