Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
