i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize