We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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