I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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