you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
