Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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