I'm eating all of the evidence.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
