It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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