dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Randomize
