she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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