I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
