let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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