Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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