i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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