What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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