the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
