when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize