I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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