We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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