I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
