I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
