i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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