those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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