I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
