We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
