Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
