Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
