You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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