I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
