so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
