You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
