Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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