I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
