You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
