He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
