She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
