He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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