Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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