On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize