I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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