we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
