i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
