they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I am mentally ready for anal.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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