her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
